Sweet Pickles

The Self-Esteem Bowl

I just now discovered that there will be 33 bowl games played over the next several weeks (and weeks.  And weeks.).  With so many, the national championship game can't be scheduled until after Easter.  Were there this many bowl games last football season, and I just didn't notice??  Having this many means that 41 teams who didn't even finish the season in the Top 25 will be playing in a bowl game.  What's the point of watching a match-up between two teams that both had as many losses as wins?  If I wanted to watch mediocre football, I'd have bought season tickets here at Ye Olde Academic Sweat Shoppe.  And really, does anyone need to watch Auburn's satellite campus in Montgomery go head to head with Gallaudet University at the Gold Bonds Medicated Foot Powder Bowl in Branson?  I assume that the exponential growth in stupid bowl games for bad teams must somehow be economic, but I can't figure out how Yeshiva University taking on Bryn Mawr at the Werther's Originals Bowl in Newark is making anybody any money. All I do know is this:  people are dumb.

Guess what this weekend is!

RED RIVER SHOOTOUT!!!

Misty-Water-Colored Memory of the Way We Were:  One Friday each October, back when George H. W. Bush was president, we always skipped classes to caravan up I-35 to Big D for the annual UT-OU game.  Although we never got tickets to go inside the Cotton Bowl, we still made the migration every year for the par-tay, and about 15 of us would stay the weekend in a friend's 2-bedroom/1-bath apartment across from the SMU campus.  One year, we decided that we needed something more special than the usual "Hook 'Em" or "Go, 'Horns" to shoe-polish on the back window of K-Bor's car for the ride north, but couldn't figure out what we should write.  That genius T-Bagg proposed: "Dallas-Bound and 'Horny" (and we made the 'o' in Horny in the iconic shape of Bevo's head).  On the highway, we got more complimentary beer passed to us from the open windows of other fans' speeding cars than we knew what to do with!

Mind: Blown

This can't be right, right?  #6 in the nation???  If it is right, it can't last for long, right?  Were any of us alive the last time the Rebels were ranked #6?

I'm also pretty horned up about the Longhorns at #2 (natch), but that ranking is far less surprising.  And the Horned Frogs at #17 makes Sweet Pickles feel warm and fuzzy inside. 

The Seventh Seal of the Apocalypse?

In this post-spring drills ranking of college football's Top 25 teams, both of my almae matres make an appearance in the Top 10!  As for my undergraduate institution, the #2 spot is no big surprise.  But #7 is what has me floored.  Can this be for real?  Fasten your seatbelts, locals... it looks like we could be in for an autumn filled with even more public urination and vomiting than usual. 

Wait, what was that?!?!  Did you feel it?  I think the price for renting my condo just took a gigantic leap.

Amen, Onion.

Cheering Fans, Thrilling NCAA Tournament Disgust BCS Officials

Well, surprise, surprise.

Age-faking is a "widespread practice" in Chinese sport, huh?  Oh really?  Who knew.

Note to International Olympic Committee:  Keep up the good work!

Sweet Pickles is devastated.

Crabtree Touchdown With 1 Second Left Lifts Tech

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS 3 minutes ago

Graham Harrell fired a 28-yard touchdown pass to Michael Crabtree with one second left and No. 6 Texas Tech stunned No. 1 Texas Saturday night in a wild shootout.

Red River Showdown, baby!

SCORE!!!

With that last touchdown, I almost started crying, y'all!  We just beat the #1 team in the nation, MFs!!

I cannot describe how this feels!  It's one of the nation's Top 10 college football rivalries.  I would give anything to be in the Cotton Bowl right this minute.  Nothing is so euphoric as winning this game, and nothing is so gut-wrenching as losing it. 

I hate to be greedy, but Sweet Pickles wants another national championship!

HOOK 'EM HORNS!!!

Why not Burma in 2016?

And this is the city that beat out Osaka for the 2008 games.

 

Unfortunately, it looks like only Tokyo, Madrid, Chicago, and Rio de Janeiro are among the final candidates to host the XXXI Olympiad. The IOC must be heartbroken that there's not a single totalitarian candidate to make it to the 'Final 4'. Especially after Magna Carta-loving London beat out Havana and Moscow for the 2012 games.

Oh, really???

Is anyone else tired of having their intelligence insulted?  Yet another reason I'm not watching the Beijing games.