Sweet Pickles

Just a sweet little memory.

Watching an interview about the American automobile industry on the News Hour with Jim Lehrer, I had a flashback to an exchange I witnessed/overheard a decade ago, and it made me laugh again. 

Years ago when I worked for the Japanese, I was in the backseat of a rental car headed from Orange County to Malibu.  One of my bosses, Nakajima-san, was the driver (because he lived in Santa Monica), and my other boss, Ueda-san, was riding shotgun.  They were conversing in rapid-fire Japanese, and I had long since given up trying to follow along.  After a while, the weather started drizzling lightly.  Nakajima-san began fumbling around, but was having difficulty engaging the windshield wipers on the rental car.  Ueda-san began advising him on which buttons to try.  

Frustration increased as they were unable to figure out the windshield wipers.  After a couple of minutes of agitation, they located the illogically-placed control, only to determine that the windshield wipers were not operational.  And I began paying attention to the conversation again...

Nakajima-san:  [hissing] "Beikoku no kuruma... baka ie!" ("American cars... worthless!")

Ueda-san:  "Mochiron." ("Of course.")

Sweet Pickles:  [leaning forward from the backseat] "Vice President, did you just say that American cars are stupid?"

Nakajima-san:  "Your Japanese is improving, Junior Apprentice Pickles."

Sweet Pickles:  [turning to Ueda-san] "Senior Division Manager, did you just agree with Vice President that American cars are stupid?"

Ueda-san:  "I also agree that your Japanese is improving."

Sweet Pickles:  "Thank you, but why won't y'all answer my question about American cars?"

Ueda-san:  "We did."

Sweet Pickles:  "HA!!!"

Those two are also who, indirectly, taught me the word p*ssy in Japanese, one time when we were shopping for go-carts.  They were snickering like elementary school kids because the American manufacturer's name was Manco.  (And there you have it.) 

Ueda-san passed away around the time I moved here.  Nakajima-san retired and moved to Kamakura.  I miss them both. 

Great Moments in the History of Film #24

Possibly the only Tom Cruise movie that doesn't totally make my ass hurt, and probably only because it's set in Meiji-Era Japan.  Obviously this is one of my favorite scenes because it features the speech by Mutsuhito, the Meiji Emperor.  Whose great-grandson I've met.  Just so you know.

It's that time of the week again...

Japan has another new prime minister!

As with scores of his predecessors, the recently-defeated incumbent Taro Aso never made it to the one-year mark.  Taro, we hardly knew ya!  The only thing I can say for sure about outgoing PM Aso was that he looked the part (I mean that in a good way).  When I hear or read the title "Prime Minister of Japan," this is what comes to mind:


Considering that the LDP has only been out of power for a total of 11 months during the past 55 years, the recent landslide would appear to have some significance.  But expectations for big changes might be premature.  The more things change, the more they stay the same. 

Like the majority of Japan's prime ministers, both Mr. Aso and likely successor have comparable political genealogies...

Aso is the great-great-grandson of one of the founders of the Meiji Restoration, the grandson of a former Prime Minister, son-in-law of another former Prime Minister, and brother-in-law of an Imperial Prince, whereas the incoming Yukio Hatoyama is the great-grandson of a former Speaker of the Diet, and the grandson of a former Prime Minister and founder of the JDP. 

In some ways, I suppose that Japan's political culture isn't all that different from our own.  In the Land of the Rising Sun, most heads-of-government are a Roosevelt, a Kennedy, or a Bush. 

Still, it's better than the alternatives.  Today during lunch, I overheard a discussion among a mixed group of international students talking about Japan's new political leader.  A couple of Middle Eastern students asked the Japanese students whether or not this change of power had happened because of an election.  At first, the Japanese students seemed confused by the question, and then appalled at the idea that there would be any other way for their country to install a different political leadership.  And I liked what both groups appeared to learn from each other, about their own home countries and about the world. 

For those of you who aren't friends with Brad on Facebook...

Here's a little excerpt from a sample Facebook back-and-forth between Sweet Pickles and yesterday's Birthday Slut himself (whose wife T-Bagg, my BFF, is half Japanese) about his status update last night:

Brad Bagby Cleaning out the freezer this evening, I came across this octopus. Please feel free to come by and pick it up if you would like it. Thank you.

Sweet Pickles  It looks more like squid. And doesn't the package say "ika?" I'm just sayin'.

Brad Bagby  Tomato, tomahto. I don't want it in my freezer. Come get it, Sweet Pickles!

I'll give the slut this... he's still quick for 50!

Yokoso!

Yokoso!

Catching up with Depeche Pickles!

What has Sweet Pickles been up to lately?  A whole lot of nothin' (but in a good way). 

Mama Pickles and Daddy Pickles have arrived safely back in the Lone Star state after a nice visit.  We didn't do anything special, just caught up, made each other laugh, and ate a lot.  Some very good QT.

Saturday was B-Whit's partay for M-Add's and K-Fiel's birthdays.  Those sluts turned it OUT.  L-Hane (my opposite-sex Doppelgänger) brought down the house with the best orange Jello-shots EVAH (I assume most of you have seen the pics of them on Facebook already?).  After I posted the party pics on Facebook, a friend from elementary school commented "Your friends are lucky--wish you were one of my friends here in Cali--you always look like you are having a blast!"  I don't know why her comment touched me so much, but it totally made my day.  Someone who lives in L.A. and is the mother of a television child-star wishes she could hang out more with me?  Go on, girl... recognize!  But really, Sweet Pickles is the one who's lucky to have the kind of friends she saw in all those pictures. 

This morning, the temperature was 54F at 9:00am, which infuriates me.  What was Sweet Pickles doing up at 9:00am when classes aren't in session, you wonder?  Meeting K-Fiel at the gym for some cardio!  And we're headed back tomorrow morning for more.  Our new theme for Summer '09 is "Gettin' Skinny!"  Because I simply cannot have another summer at 20 lbs. over my ideal weight. 

Which reminds me... is anybody else up for a mad-dash weekend getaway to Laredo some time soon?  We could fly in on a Friday, take care of business early (i.e., 10-minute consultation with a local doctor then get prescriptions for Mexican diet pills filled at the farmacia), load up on good tequila to pack and bring back, sip margaritas in the plaza, shop, find some place to listen to some mariachi, get our freak on, brunch at La Posada and then fly back on a Sunday afternoon.  Who's with me?

Speaking of travel (and fun), L-Ant's been negotiating with her Japanese contact, and it's sounding hopeful that they'll be able to get our per-person cost down below $3,000!  Although that doesn't include roundtrip airfare (or shopping or boozing or bail), it DOES include <b>everything else</b> (all hotels, meals, in-country travel, and admissions fees for 7 days/nights in Tokyo, Kyoto, and Osaka, with stops in Yokohama and Nagoya).  For those of you employed here at Ye Olde Academic Sweatshoppe, you can have the cost deducted from your paycheck over a period of up to (I think) 12 months.  And you're never gonna find a sexier pair of tour-guides than L-Ant and the Pickle.  It's been exactly 3 years since the last time we were there, and it won't be the same since Frenchie won't be with us this time around.  Unless...?!?!?!

We're going to THE LAND OF THE RISING SUN, bitches!  Departing 25-July.  Come with!!  To get you in the mood, here's a delightful video filmed with some tourists' camera, shot from the conveyor-belt inside a kaiten sushi restaurant... every time I watch it, I think "Those are my peeps!"  I hope you'll get to see some of them, live, in person, and soon :)

I CAN'T STAND IT!!!

After seeing this, I cannot stop watching it. I want to love on them so hard that I'm afraid I'd squeeze them to death. But it doesn't even say what city the restaurant is in! I pray that it's in the Kansai region, because I am already plotting a kidnapping mission for next summer. When Yatchan and Fukuchan come to live with Sweet Pickles, they'll be performing the exact same tasks, but they'll get a much cooler wardrobe of tiny track pants and little bitty hoodies.

As LA recently pointed out...

Here's just one more reason that Sweet Pickles loves the Land of the Rising Sun. 

My question:  The average waist size for Caucasian American men is 39 inches?  Really??  Thirty plus nine??  REALLY???  Where are these people?  Do I know any males with a 39-inch waist?  Am I just completely misjudging what a 39-inch waist looks like on a male? 

Suddenly, my waistline at its all-time largest seems positively tiny.  Now... my big ass, that's a whole other issue.

Great Moments in the History of Film #15

Friend: "This movie reminded me of you!"
Sweet Pickles: "Because it's set in Japan, or because it's visually stunning?"

A Friendly Reminder...

to the Director of The Academic Traveler program. For next summer:

Northwest Airlines = not this awesome.

You know what I miss?

my goddaughter, M-Bagg

Her first year of school (kindergarten) is almost over.  I hate when she does smart things and I'm never around to enjoy them.   

Here are some similarities she shares with her godfather:

1.)  Enrolled in her school's program for talented/gifted students (although at a much earlier age than her godfather).

2.)  Hyper-conscious of her appearance in photographs.

3.)  Loves the sun, but easily hurt by it.

4.)  Is the object of her classmates' envy.

5.)  Hobbies include:  drawing; telling others what to do; ass-shaking.

6.)  And her new favorite drink is Calpis!

P.S. - Notice her rich-ass Hannah Montana lunchbox, courtesy of Uncle Pickles.

P.P.S. - Can you believe this child is one-quarter Japanese?

Know what I miss?

My Japanese homeslice, H-Tak.

Especially at this time of year, when I used to be gearing up to take students to Japan during the May Intersession. He's pictured here at my favorite karaoke studio in Osaka. He's the richest person I've ever known on a personal level. Why can't I have friends this rich in my home country, where it could do me some good on a regular basis? But it's him I miss, not his family's limousine. I swear. No, I mean it. For reals, y'all!

Frenchie and LA should recognize the briefcase behind him.

Music Videos That Changed the World #12

One of my all-time favorite songs to karaoke to when I'm in Japan:

How 'bout that pink jet?

McCain just lost the Japanese-American vote!

Do not handle money like this (i.e., between two fingers like scissors)! EVER! Especially in front of Japanese people. For my BFF's mother, this might be even tackier than failing to pre-wash rice until the water runs crystal clear! Which is just nasty.

Great Moments in the History of Film #3