Sweet Pickles

Casting the Sweet Pickles Biopic

I just saw a (potentially) interesting 'quiz' on Facebook, but couldn't get it to work.  So, I thought I'd try my own version here.  It asked, "Who would play you, your love interest, your best friend, a parent, and your worst enemy, in a movie about your life?"  The title of this not-yet-rated epic is So Sexy Almost Evil: The Sweet Pickles Story.

The Star, Sweet Pickles (Justin Timberlake)

Mrs. Pickles (Padma Lakshmi)

Sweet Pickles' Best Friend, Brad Bagby (Jeremy Piven)

Mama Pickles (Suzanne Pleshette)

Daddy Pickles (Burt Reynolds)

Sweet Pickles' Worst Enemy, and you know what bald dwarf I'm talking about (Verne Troyer)

Blogthings Quizzes: The Art Series

You Are Palatino

You consider yourself to be creative and artistic. And you'd like everyone else to know it! You take design and aesthetics seriously. You like everything in your life to be unique and beautiful - but never gaudy!

What Font Are You?

You Are Surrealism

Dreamy and idealistic, you've created a world that is all your own. It's very likely that you've either dabbled in drugs or are naturally trippy. You are always trying to push beyond the boundaries of your culture and society. You believe that art, love, and freedom can change the world.

What Art Movement Are You?

Who Should Paint You: Roy Lichtenstein

Larger than life, your personality overshadows everyone in the room A painter would tend to portray you with a bit of added flair!

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

"That's 100%!"

Over at Quizilla, where I made my awesome personality quiz (in a previous post), I noticed this:

104 other people got this result! That's 100%

I know that Sweet Pickles ain't got 104 readers, so I got real tickled imagining random people taking that personality quiz, then going "I wear blue, enjoy visiting our nation's capital, and like to spend time with my family!  Why does that make me a slut??"  'Cause Sweet Pickles said so!

But wait, there's more!

Okay, that's it... I'm officially boycotting these quizzes on Facebook.  I mean, who would put in that much time into creating and constructing one of these things, but can't be bothered to edit crap like this:

You are most like MARY MAGDALENE
She was forgiven much & loved much, and you certainly love much! You are a passionate person, who loves God & life. You have a tendency to count your blessings and be very grateful, even in small things. You are an overcomer, and will not allow any life circumstances to hold you down.

You belong in Japan, a country that is becoming more and more important, and you want to be a part of it. You love being in busy places and you have a great interest in strange languages. You love the culture, whether that may be the ancient culture or the present culture, things like anime and manga, if its Japanese, you love it. You don't mind crowdy places and you are very interest in the customs of other people and you can easily adapt.

You are a sexy and slinky with an edge. There is an aire of mystery about you as you prowl. People around reconize you immediately, but don't much about you, and that's the way you like it; to keep them guessing!

You are a fashionista, you not only know the lattest trends but you set them yourself! You are also a party girl and are light all night long like the beautiful Eiffel Tower. You enjoy a good time ith good friends and great clothes.

You are very creative! You have a very colorful personality and you love to look at things different ways. You usualy love history or some sort of literature class, and you are random at times. You are usualy good at the arts(writing, drawing)

Quizzes for the developmentally-challenged

On Facebook, I just noticed that someone else had completed another personality quiz.  I'm having reading comprehension problems just getting through a paragraph of text.  What I can't figure out is whether or not these things are being written by:

a.)  tweens who haven't had a spelling class yet
b.)  learners of English as a second language
c.)  victims of head injuries

Here's a sample:

you are the social person who make usefull contacts. you introduce important people to influencial people and always reap some sort of reward as a result...but you dont enjoy the spotlight as much. you prefer to stay in the back as there is more room to strech and you like the feeling that you are the one with the power and most of the time that is true... you will do well in almost anyfield you know how to flater without being to obivous and you can make just about anyone like you

This is a train wreck that cannot be salvaged. Capitalization, punctuation, spelling, run-on sentences, I don't know where to begin!  Perhaps the illiterate should have their access to this kind of technology curbed?

I'm already thinking of a new quiz to make, where the response goes a little something like this:

you are the kind of person what really likes to do alot of quizzes no matter how bad the results is................. this means you have a colourfull personality the kind people really respond too............. people can always count on you to do more quizzes and this enspires them to do the same quizzes as you do because they are gelous that you have a computer so they always try to copy your style which is the reason why................. you are romantic and the class clown and flirtacious and got street smarts but dont act all stuckup about it and are a true freind whose always there to lend a helping hand when someone needs some............. youre best carrier choice is marine biologist.................... also you should live in paris

Take my new personality quiz that I made myself!!

I signed up at Quizilla so that I could try my hand at making my own quizzes.  I can't yet figure out how to embed it directly here, so you'll have to go to the link to do it.  Please have a go, and let me know if it works.  Then maybe I can do some more!

Where I should live

I just took the "Where should you live" quiz that everyone's doing on Facebook.  My first issue was with the final question's choices of answers:

The first impression people get from you is
    opinionated and down to earth
    warm and passionate
    Social and a good sense of humour
    Dreamy and creative
    Wordly [sic] and caring
    Driven and energetic
    Adventurous and open

I don't wanna be one of those a-holes that make D-Hug nervous, but why do the first words of some answers begin with a capital letter, but other don't?  Number two, do you find that "opinionated" and "down to earth" usually go hand-in-hand?  Or, for that matter, do you often think of "worldly" and "caring" together?  [I'm assuming that 'wordly' was a typo, but if not, it still doesn't jive with "caring."]  Sweet Pickles is opinionated and worldly (and wordly), but not very down to earth or caring.  So, I chose "warm and passionate."

My bigger peeve was with the image that accompanied my results (below).  Kangaroos don't live on beaches!

Duhhh!

You Should Follow Judaism

You believe that there is only one God, but you don't get too dogmatic about it. Instead, you simply try to live the most ethical life you can. Religious holidays and cultural identity are very important to you. You enjoy following religious traditions and find meaning in them.

What Religion Should You Be?

My medieval profession: Big surprise, huh.

You Are a Jester

You are a natural entertainer. You can get a laugh from the toughest of crowds. You make friends very easily. You tend to know a lot of popular, rich, and powerful people. You are also good at playing politics. You know how to get along with many factions without upsetting anyone. In modern times, you would make a good actor or world leader.

What's Your Medieval Profession?

Yeah, yeah, I could guess there this one would lead before I even started answering the questions. But I am intrigued by career advice for the modern world. It got me thinking... what country would be a good match for Sweet Pickles' style of leadership. Some places just aren't ready for Sweet Pickles' portrait on their currency and postage. Other seem politically and/or economically more compatible with the basic tenets of Picklism, but would it really work out?

Great Britain - Sure, it's the Mother Country and all, but could Sweet Pickles deal with the climate?  I'm down with the imperialism, but are there enough lookers among the population?  I feel that SP would be at his best reigning over really attractive subjects.  Sure, the rights of the unattractive would be safeguarded in Pickledom, but as a protected minority.  And with a Labour government in power, the mood isn't as pro-Pickles as you'd find during the Thatcher years.

Japan - Yeah, Sweet Pickles misses the efficiency.  But might Japan be too efficient for Sweet Pickles?  Or, more likely, would Sweet Pickles be efficient enough for the Japanese?  Plus, Japan is all about the four seasons.  SP should probably confine his domain to a one-season kind of place.  Although I get along well with the Imperial Family, the LDP (and its octogenarian leadership) is a major snooze. 

Israel - More lookers, better weather, and none too efficient.  But is Sweet Pickles religious enough for this job?  Probably not if its major attraction for me would be the beaches and nightclubs of Tel Aviv.  And would the beaches and nightclubs of Tel Aviv be enough to make it worth the hassle?  And the socialism... don't get me started.

Brazil - More lookers, and the beaches and nightclubs of Rio certainly appeal.  And I'm certainly down with the gaping disparities between rich and poor.  Less intense than Israel, but potentially dangerous in different ways.  Would Brazil still be too much for Sweet Pickles to deal with?  Probably.  Sweet Pickles is more of a figurehead than an administrator.  I don't solve problems, I inspire. 

Monaco - Lookers and good weather, check.  Beaches and nightclubs, check.  No major problems to deal with, check.  Plus, a casino!  And it's a tax haven... everyone's rich!!  This should be a match made in heaven, am I right?

You Are a Dragon

You are very charismatic and incredibly popular. People are drawn to your energy, but you are a very difficult person to get to know. You are very active - you are usually hard at work or play. You enjoy drama, and you enjoy anything unusual or eccentric.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

You Are a Total Narcissist

Your ego is totally out of control - and you couldn't care less. As far as you're concerned, you're the most important person in the world - and everyone should treat you as such. While it's good to have high self esteem, you also have a strong sense of entitlement. You think you deserve more and better than everyone else... and that's not cool.

Are You a Narcissist?

Or, where love and madness intersect.

Your Slogan Should Be

Between Love and Madness Lies Sweet Pickles

The Slogan Generator

Wasn't Los Angeles voted the world's sluttiest city?

What Your Flip Flops Say About You

You can't help but be a little vain... it's hard when you're so good looking! You love being the center of attention, and people love giving you attention. Your personality is outrageous, and you do what it takes to stand out. You have superstar appeal, even if you aren't a celebrity (yet). Your ideal warm weather place: Los Angeles

The Flip Flop Test

Where there's smoke...

there's Sweet Pickles' body. Euhhhhh!

Your Body's Element is Fire

You are restless and hyper. You are easily bored. You are driven and talented, but you are never satisfied with your accomplishments. You are a perfectionist and not easily satisfied. You're happiest when you can escape to an exciting adventure. Your energy tends to be: complete Your power color is: red

What Element is Your Body?

No time for thinking!

What's Important to You... And What Isn't:

For you, sex is usually your number one priority. You find getting things done to be fairly satisfying. You like feeling accomplished. You attend to almost every priority in your life. You don't neglect much. You want thinking to be a high priority, but you don't take enough time for yourself.

The Priority Test

Duh!

You Are 100% Sexy

Your Sex Appeal Is: Off the Charts! Let's face it... you're one of the sexiest people around. And you don't let anyone forget it. You're crazy hot, and you deliver on what you promise. You are definitely one wild ride.

How Much Sex Appeal Do You Have?

Tell Sweet Pickles something he doesn't already know!

You Are Destined to Rule the World

You have the makings of a very evil dictator... Which is both kind of cool and kind of scary! Will you rule the world? Maybe. Maybe not. But at least you know that you could.

Are You Destined For World Domination?

Not just summer!

Your Summer Love Style is Sultry

You make a hot summer night just a little bit hotter! For you, summer is all about letting go of any inhibitions. You're not shy about getting what you want this summer - and lots of it. Love is the last thing on your mind, but you'll have plenty to keep you busy.

What's Your Summer Love Style?

TAB must not have been an option...

You Are Diet Coke

You are energy in its purest form. No need to complicate things with sweetness. And while people may hate your aftertaste, you are seen as a necessary evil. Your best soda match: 7 Up Stay away from: Coke

What Kind of Soda Are You?

Bring on the summer!

Your Summer Anthem is Don't Cha by The Pussycat Dolls

"Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me?" Your summer forecast: freaky and full of drama!

What's Your 2005 Summer Anthem?

Only 81%?

You Are 81% Misanthropic

You are misanthropic to the point of being scary. In your view, people are a disease. You may want to lighten up a little - before you become a super villain!

How Misanthropic Are You?

Anyone surprised??

Your 2006 Summer Anthem Is

Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado "I'm only trying to get inside your brain To see if you can work me the way you say It's okay, it's alright I got something that you might like"

What's Your 2006 Summer Anthem?

Well, it's better than being just a whore...

You Are An Attention Whore

There's no doubt about it, you'll do almost anything for attention. You crave fame, recognition, and your own entourage of adoring friends. And when it does feel good when you are in the spotlight, you feel pretty down when no one notices you. You're so desperate for attention, you're likely to be well known for the wrong reasons. And it's no fun being the Paris Hilton of your social group. You come across as: Dramatic and needy People may wrongly think you're: Completely self centered and self absorbed

Are You An Attention Whore?

Whew!

You Are Probably Not Pregnant

It seems like you're in the clear, but you should really take a test to be sure.

Are You Pregnant?

Addicted

Okay, this is three of these things in less than 10 minutes, so I'm obviously going to need to create a separate category for blogthings quizzes.

You Are 0% Emo

You're the furthest thing from emo. Sensitivity is not something you exactly cultivate... and you can't imagine weeping over song lyrics.

Are You Emo?